Freedom From Anxiety and Fear 2

I knew this was going to change my life forever, but I didn’t know it was going to set me free. The incredible amount of fear and running I had been doing in my life for 49 years (stories to come), had left me crippled with anxiety to the point I felt sick, broken, and hopeless. Freedom from anxiety changed when God used my fear and my wife’s incredible love for Him, to show me He is real.

Thats me above.

After living in beautiful Colorado for 14 years, my wife and I decided to explore the United States and visit each of our six children in their home states. We didn’t know if or when we would return to Colorado, nor did we understand the journey transformation God had for us in this adventure.

More details in coming posts, but as we journeyed into Jacksonville, NC and lived for several months with one of our daughters (while her husband was deployed), my peak of anxiety and lostness were overwhelming. Sleepless nights, 2am walks throughout the neighborhood (with my compassionate wife), chest pain and stomach aches during the day, and even times of laying down in the middle of cul-de-sac street during those nighttime walks crippled with anxiety. I was scared.

On one of those walks through the neighborhood with my wife, I felt God telling me that she deserved to be loved with a full abundance while walking hand-in-hand in His presence.  I needed to stand up and choose Him and become the person he had made me to be.  And by doing this, I would become the person who would stand with this amazing woman, as one, under God in our marriage. This hit me like a ton of bricks. It was never like me to say God is talking to me, but I had never received a message so strongly in my life.

God was talking to me. What? How could I feel God talking to me? My head was spinning with fear, words and thoughts, and then all of a sudden it was clear with one thought, overwhelmingly pointing to the need for a drastic life altering change. There are a lot of parts about that moment that changed the course of my life, but one outstanding difference was that the choice didn’t seem to be about my own escaping of personal pain. It was about the incredible amount of love my wife has for God, and her deserving me to be in step with the Spirit in our marriage. I felt God was telling me to step-up or die.

Although I didn’t feel the strength to step-up, nor even know exactly what it meant, I knew I had to make a choice, and I did. I chose to step-up. My life has changed. I am not the man I used to be. I have found freedom from anxiety. More on that to come…

Our traveling adventure brought us to the coast of Oregon, Topsail Beach in North Carolina and to our current home (lounging) in Wilmington, NC.

The following verses have made and continue to make such a big impact in my life.